Living in the moment

So often in my life I have found myself planning ahead, for a vacation, a seminary lesson, a work day, so many things. Planning ahead is good if you can keep from planning not only the basic event but planning on the outcome. I would envision perfect family vacations where everyone got along, the kids were happy, Vince would be happy and good natured and we would all smile and laugh all the way. The children would be so grateful that we took them on this wonderful trip they would thank us for showing them such a good time. Any woman reading this will probably laugh at me or shake her head and say "Fool." One of the good things about growing older is that we begin to see the value in living in the moment. The best laid plans will probably go awry. At Disneyland, when our children were supposed to be reveling in the joys of the "Magic Kingdom", one chose to lay on the ground and cry, "No more lines! Lets go back to the hotel and swim." I of course could not believe he would feel that way. My good husband knew me well enough to know how I felt and I am sure his brooding silence was sometimes irritation with fighting screaming kids in the back of the van, (no Movies in the old days) and sometimes with me because he knew how I wanted it to be and how it would really be.
Don't get me wrong. We have great kids and we had some wonderful times together, but some how it was never quite what I envisioned. As I grow older, I find it takes too much energy to figure out what could or might happen. I find myself enjoying the moment more.
Yesterday, I went to pick up three grandchildren and their friends to go the movie. The youngest was not going to go (think three year old in movie), but as the others got ready, Mason curled up leaning next to me with his cozy blanket and watched cartoons, laughing and grinning up to me saying, "that's funny huh grandma?" I thought, there couldn't be anything better than this could there grandma? Sitting in the movie, watching the others laugh, I thought it again.
Years ago, as all parents do, we spent a sleepless night with three children with stomach flu, brought home from school compliments of their older brother. I remember changing sheets, pajamas, running the washing machine, and cuddling sick babies. Finally, at about 4:00 AM we crawled exhausted into bed and Vince said, "Remember, if we are really good we can do this forever." (A mormon joke.) We laughed and dozed until the next call came.
The point is that humor, love, patience and sometimes only time passing will get us through to the other side of difficulties. Now when I think of that night, I remember my sweet children wanting to be held and loved, turning to us for help and my dear husband and I laying in bed laughing.
Things don't always turn out how we planned. Things are not always perfect, but looking back we remember the good things, of which there are many. Living in the moment means appreciating all of those small blessings we meet each day. The sunshine after many cloudy days, a phone call from a friend, good food, a warm bed, the smiles of our families, the touch of a loved one. Those small moments we sometimes miss because they aren't really in our plan.