Worrying...

I have a confession to make. I am a worrier. I don't know if it was born in me or if it was a learned behavior. I suspect it is a little of both. My children have often teased me (kindly) about my propensity for worry. Some of it I am sure I learned from my mother. When I was a child and mom would let me go to a matinee with some of the neighborhood children, she would give me money and say "But no popcorn!" I never was sure why, but I was not allowed to have popcorn. Finally, when I was 9 or 10 I asked her why. She told me that a little boy somewhere had choked to death in a movie on popcorn and she didn't want that to happen to me. Not long after, I bought popcorn at the movie, feeling very brave. I didn't choke to death and felt quite lucky.
I know worry is wasted energy, but being logical with myself doesn't take away my fear when a child is sick, or having a difficult period in his or her life. I worry that I won't do a good job with a church calling, I worry if my husband has indigestion, I worry about the state of the world in which my grandchildren are growing up. I worry about so many things that worry doesn't change. I have been trying hard to change this habit but it is not easy. My children have grown, and have brought in reinforcements in the form of daughters in law and a son in law. There are 12, nearly 13 grandchildren to worry about and the list goes on and on.
Last year one of my grandsons was having sinus surgery and when his mom called to tell me that everything went fine she also told me about a plaque on the wall at the hospital. It said "Worry doesn't change tomorrow, and it ruins today." I now have this posted in my kitchen, and refer to it quite often. Worry can cause sleepless nights, dark days and health problems. My main resolution for this year is to not worry so much about the things I cannot change. I think this is really a test of my faith. After all, aren't things in much more capable hands than mine? I believe I have found more peace as I have really made an effort to step back, and enjoy all of the positive aspects of my life. Life is too short to spend it worrying.